Tuesday, December 20

Now then - what's going on here ?

Sir Ian (Plod) Blair (Commisioner of the Metropolitan Police) has sparked off some amazing behaviour in the ranks of the Police across the realm following his call for a debate on what sort of Police we the public want.
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In Weymouth (glorious birth place of the editor) the strong arm of the law has reverted to some cunning methods of detection. Officers from the southern seaside town dressed up as Victorian carol singers and sung carols outside a targeted house until the door was opened. The team announced their true identity and upon searching the property, discovered £400 worth of cocaine. Quite why the normal dawn raid and constabulary door basher was not employed is not clear, perhaps it is a new seasonal service from our boys in blue.
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Right, well tuned in officers prepare for a house raid.
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Meanwhile at the other end of the country Cleveland Police surpassed all known records of wasting their own police time recently, when a part of a human skull was found by a member of the public on a beach in the North East of England. Senior officers ordered a comprehensive search of the beach near Redcar which failed to reveal any other body parts.

Eventually an anthropologist carbon dated the find and confirmed the skull bone as that of a male of about thirty years of age who died 5,230 years ago. The expert was able to confirm to the plods that '' there was no signs of any traumatic injury and that the bone appears to have become detached from the rest of the skull through natural processes.''

Detective Constable Chris Merchant commented in the local press: ''thankfully we are not looking at a suspicious death.''

One can only marvel at how the Cleveland plods would have conducted an investigation into a suspicious neolithic death had the expert suspected foul play !
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Cleveland Police, motto - Putting People First.

1 comment:

Kelly said...

Who knows for sure? but would the case be considered a cold case? and how would you go about questioning any witnesses or even finding out if there were witnesses? And what about a tox screen? Has that shown up anything? Ooopss, i seem to have fallen into a crime series, sorry CSI's everywhere!